Marry me?

Where does my heart begin? Putting emotions into words can seem near impossible at times. This leaves a writer in a very awkward position. To take any experience, any emotion and place it into words is our job. Perhaps it isn’t the emotions I find hard to describe but the effect the emotions have on my heart and on my mind.

I asked a simple question last night. It involved 2 words. It could have been answered in one word. Sounds simple right? The timing of the question would leave many who know the situation baffled at why I would ask such a question at such a time. However, in my life I have learned that we should speak what our heart speaks. Maybe timing isn’t ideal. Maybe timing is just plain bad. Maybe the timing is appropriate but I am a firm believer to speak with my heart, when it moves me to speak. I lived too long waiting for the “right” moments that I missed out on the “real” moments.

“Marry me?” I asked wide eyed staring into his soul. I did not say today or tomorrow or when the time is more appropriate. I did not say asap or when I had the “right” to ask. I simply said “Marry me?”….

I didn’t have a ring or a plan or a date. I simply had a heart over flowing with love that poured itself into words that came out as such. I knew the moment I first saw his smile and his anointing that he was the man I wanted to spend my life with and to grow old with. To have children with, watch grandchildren with…

While the thought of a wedding is exciting to nearly every young woman, especially one who knows the value of true love, it is not the wedding that is what I am most interested in. You see, walking into a room with him near me is a blessing unlike any other. He is attractive, kind, generous, sincere, gifted, anointed, beautiful, smart, funny, well educated, he is everything anyone could ever want and much more than anyone deserves and while introducing him to my family as “mine” feels so wonderful, I think that only one opinion matters. Gods.

The place we are currently in is not all pleasing to God. I pray for Gods grace and speed to get us to a place where we are in the right ALL the time. “Marry me?” I ask this because one day, I want to stand before the Lord and be seen as “his”, in the eyes of God. Little girls worry about boys home to meet daddy but I eagerly await the day I can bring him before God and a blessing be given for him to take His daughter, her heart and her hand. I want my heavenly fathers approval. I want to be his in every sense of the word.

Is it wrong that such a question was posed now, at this time? I don’t know. I just know that my love for him is everlasting. Just like a ring, it has no beginning and no end, just like God. I love him. So I know you all are wondering, what was his answer? I met him 12 years ago, I have been with him now for 6 months. Every day I love him more. Maybe answers don’t really matter…maybe he is simply my answer. Maybe words do not always answer such questions.

“Marry me?”