It has been a long year in my life. Usually a year sets a standard time frame of 365 days. While this is true how long those days are varies according to our hardships and struggles. The days where suffering is imminent, the 24 hours in that one day do not matter. Our bodies, mind and souls will count the split seconds until relief is offered. What happens when relief does not come fast enough? What happens when life breaks us down to the point where we lie limp and hopeless praying that hour 24 will be better?
The brisk wind is spirialing outside my window. Lifes bedbris and loose ends scatter through the wild winds brushing up against everything around me. The dust clouds my vision and the spiked leaves poke at my delicate flesh. A circular current stands before me with what is left of fall. The wind whips through my hair and feeds the tornado that stands at my feet. Life rushes in and collides with emotions of my heart and my soul takes flight like the cascading leaves falling from the broken branches.
The whisteling and howling tears through the crips air while the unseen air currents deny life gravity, pulling everything up twards to the deepened baby blue sky that stands vast and innocent. Just like my dreams and desires the blazing colored leaves fly twards the heavens with abandon. Just like my emotions and feelings the scents of fall overwhelm and ignite my spirit. Just like love, all that is around me has no control, it is wild and wreckless but brings me to life.
I peak from behind the dusty blinds that hold in the walls that contain me many days of the year. One eye glaring through to what could be, what has been and in my mind I stare endlessly into the window of what will be. It is in that place that my heart is free to live and free to love, as free as the wind. Unseen, delicate and strong, a breeze or full gust, moving day to day as it desires to be.
As the air begins to settle in the setting sun decorating the sky with hughes of fushcia and amber, peace moves in and the earth is still. The beauty is overwhelming. Crystal tears fill my emerald eyes. They sparkle with appreciation for what unfolds before me. As I inhale to absorb and soak in the scent of fresh picked apples, the touch of a ruby maple leaf, or the feeling of the crisp cool air against my warm flesh, I am reminded that now must come winter. I want to close the blinds and lock the doors. I do not want to let winter in. But as the squirrels outside begin to collect the rememnents of a beautiful fall, I know my heart must do the same.
I must take with me all the beauty and blessings that have come with glorious season and keep them tucked away in the depths of my heart so that when a season of cold infliction comes gusting in, I can pull from inside all that I need to get me through the barren days. Even within a season that has been radiant, there will always be days where we cannot see the sun, even in the dead of summer.
We will feel the heat but see no rays but we also must believe that we will see the snow and not feel the bitterness. Why would God inflict pain and suffering on His children that he loves so much? He does not inflict. He chooses to allow but He also chooses to show His grace. So many think that God stands above us with a salt jar and spills wrath and judgement on our bodies collecting pain for our sins like a snail, laying hopeless in the pavement. This couldn’t be more wrong. We are more like the caterpillar. Created so small and simple to our obvious minds yet God gives us potential not only to grow but to one day fly. No one limits us but ourselves. No one punishes us but ourselves. God has already forgiven us. God will always love us. Now we must find peace to forgive and love ourselves. Every moment you worry about you, is a moment you could be caring for someone else. Don’t get lost in yourself or in your hour 23, instead let yourself be forgiven and loved and offer someone else hour 24.
The brisk wind is spirialing outside my window. Lifes bedbris and loose ends scatter through the wild winds brushing up against everything around me. The dust clouds my vision and the spiked leaves poke at my delicate flesh. A circular current stands before me with what is left of fall. The wind whips through my hair and feeds the tornado that stands at my feet. Life rushes in and collides with emotions of my heart and my soul takes flight like the cascading leaves falling from the broken branches.
The whisteling and howling tears through the crips air while the unseen air currents deny life gravity, pulling everything up twards to the deepened baby blue sky that stands vast and innocent. Just like my dreams and desires the blazing colored leaves fly twards the heavens with abandon. Just like my emotions and feelings the scents of fall overwhelm and ignite my spirit. Just like love, all that is around me has no control, it is wild and wreckless but brings me to life.
I peak from behind the dusty blinds that hold in the walls that contain me many days of the year. One eye glaring through to what could be, what has been and in my mind I stare endlessly into the window of what will be. It is in that place that my heart is free to live and free to love, as free as the wind. Unseen, delicate and strong, a breeze or full gust, moving day to day as it desires to be.
As the air begins to settle in the setting sun decorating the sky with hughes of fushcia and amber, peace moves in and the earth is still. The beauty is overwhelming. Crystal tears fill my emerald eyes. They sparkle with appreciation for what unfolds before me. As I inhale to absorb and soak in the scent of fresh picked apples, the touch of a ruby maple leaf, or the feeling of the crisp cool air against my warm flesh, I am reminded that now must come winter. I want to close the blinds and lock the doors. I do not want to let winter in. But as the squirrels outside begin to collect the rememnents of a beautiful fall, I know my heart must do the same.
I must take with me all the beauty and blessings that have come with glorious season and keep them tucked away in the depths of my heart so that when a season of cold infliction comes gusting in, I can pull from inside all that I need to get me through the barren days. Even within a season that has been radiant, there will always be days where we cannot see the sun, even in the dead of summer.
We will feel the heat but see no rays but we also must believe that we will see the snow and not feel the bitterness. Why would God inflict pain and suffering on His children that he loves so much? He does not inflict. He chooses to allow but He also chooses to show His grace. So many think that God stands above us with a salt jar and spills wrath and judgement on our bodies collecting pain for our sins like a snail, laying hopeless in the pavement. This couldn’t be more wrong. We are more like the caterpillar. Created so small and simple to our obvious minds yet God gives us potential not only to grow but to one day fly. No one limits us but ourselves. No one punishes us but ourselves. God has already forgiven us. God will always love us. Now we must find peace to forgive and love ourselves. Every moment you worry about you, is a moment you could be caring for someone else. Don’t get lost in yourself or in your hour 23, instead let yourself be forgiven and loved and offer someone else hour 24.
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