Beauty

Being beautiful is generally not an easy task. However being "beautiful" for me is easy. I do not go tanning, I do not do my nails, I cut my own hair, I purchase cheap makeup, I do not spend hours in the gym (any time in the gym actually), I eat too much cheese, and drink too much coffee with extra cream, I love salt and I eat bread soley for the sake of butter. I do not have my hair professionally colored nor do I bask in the luxuries of massages, expensive dinner with the girls and cosmos after work.

Beauty is ironic to me. Nothing about my life do I see as beautiful, except my son of course. I am really just the girl next door who happens to look like the girl on stage, the big screen or the magazine cover. SO, what does a girl do with beauty that she has no need for? Its not my job, not an investment, I do not hold myself to social standards based on my current "look", so, why be beautiful? Do I have any control of my beauty or does it have a mind of its own? Is my beauty only surface or does it cut straight into my soul? Beauty. Is it a blessing or a curse, its the age old question. Does anyone know the answer?

Maybe after my 30 years of existance this age old mystery will finally be solved. Too bad I will be forever 29. Is it ok to not have all the answers? Perhaps God doesnt give us the answer because He knows we will not like it. Maybe Him holding back isnt cruel, maybe its a blessing. Perhaps beauty isnt the curse but the answer is.