Sands of Time

It is a damp and noisy nearly night in NJ. The year 2009. I am sitting in a room that is mostly silence with small accents of crickets and unpolished nails tapping away at a keyboard and looking at a nearly blank page. An antique piano graces my vision with its alluring, timeless, classic beauty. Before it is even heard, its raw passion and notes of elegance come rushing forth as if there were tomorrow. Tonight, I think of all the things I have never seen yet have known to be true without vision as my companion. I reflect deep within my stunning flesh and travel to the bone of Gods grace within this tattered shell. I pull from deep within this bestowing glow all that I have to love just once more. The greatest of all loves stories are not those that held the most adventure, the ones that handed the most happiness, nor the ones that held a fairy tale ending. The great loves of our lives are the ones that too often slip away. The ones that come along at a seemingly bad time, or on a night where our mind dictates our actions before our hearts even get a chance to respond. This scenario is one I have found myself in before. The love of my life arriving moments too late. How stupid we are in our youth and in being so nieve to think that anyone, anything but ourselves has any right to say no to love. “Life isn’t always a dress rehearsal” we do not always get second chances and sometimes it seems as if our lives have gone wrong. So wrong. So, here I am. Myself and my piano and my words, all of which will eventually fade into the distance just like the hope this aching heart once had, a long long time ago. I want so badly to be the piano. Sitting in confidence and in tune waiting to be played in such a way that it would touch peoples ears and souls and even the finger tips of those who played. Waiting for the one who can tie all the keys of different sounds and octaves and place them into a natural harmony and rythem. The wood is polished and gleaming, its beauty is noticed even in its endless nicks and scrapes. It is in those flaws that history and memories have been stored and beneath the wax polish that they are preserved. Timeless memories among the beauty and the pain. The crickets tell me that is a very hot and humid night sky. There chirps rflect the motions of the wild fireflies that illuminate the summer air around me. At the tip of my nose a single glow lies hovering just beneath the horizon of the setting sun. My hand reaches out to touch this intricate creature in hoping that a dash of its brightness will rub off on my weary hands. It flies off into the pelican pink abyss and I am left standing in the dark. I can feel the wind rustle through my darkened locks like waves of faith crashing at the shoreline. My emerald green eyes wish so badly they could make my ruby shoes tap three times and wish that I was home. You see, he is home but he is not here. So, where does that leave me? That I just don’t know. I pray that his heart searches past the lies of this world and limitations of today, I pray that his soul and heart push him to find his way into my arms. Throw the hourglass and let the sand return the shores, tear apart the papers that hold you down and let the ink dry up like the dew in the morning sun. In this life I know that we can never go back but I am learning too quickly that we must not let today interfere with our hopes and dreams of tomorrow. Some say I am a dreamer and that I may be but if loving him is wrong than I don’t need to be right. Isnt it funny how life always plays a familiar tune? I close my eyes and my lashes dance upon my rosey cheeks. The tears fall down upon my chest and run to the ground where the soil will consume them. My arms rise out to my side as if they were wings of white and gold, eager to feel the wind and life beneath them in thinking they would carry me to the clouds of contentment and serenity. As nothing holds me but my own two feet I can imagine the arms of the man that one day will. I fall to my knees slumped in the green plush grass and wonder when my time will come. When will love find me? Growing tired from absorbing the world floating around me I lay down on my back to gaze at the endless span of wonder that the Lord placed right above me. I have been so busy looking forward that perhaps I forgot to see what has been placed directly before me. The dreams were not taken away, the past robbed me of nothing, the stars never vanished and the love never ceased. All Gods blessings have been before me and upon me I was just too busy thinking of the things I wanted to see and forgot about those that I could only feel.